funny joke

one day, a woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What’s WRONG with me, Doctor?”
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: “Well, I can tell you that there ain’t nothing wrong with your eyesight….”


My Dad wanted to surprise my Mum by painting the bedroom a nice colour that she liked. He went to the shop and brought a colour that he thought she would like, then went home and painted the bedroom. When Mum came home, Dad showed her his work. She laughed and laughed. Dad asked her what was wrong. She asked what colour did he think it was. He said "green". "Nope" she said, "it's bright orange". He forgot he was colour blind!

A married couple was watching the show, “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?”. At
the end of the show, the man said to his wife, “I think we will have an
early night.”
She answered, “Okay, but when I get to bed I am going straight to sleep.”
And he said, “Is that you final answer?”
She replied, “Yes.”
He said, “Okay, then I’m going to phone a friend.”

While I was painting the ceiling with white paint, the paint fell off the ladder hook. My cat thought it was milk and started drinking it! It's funny to look back on now, but not so funny when it happened with me busy trying to remove paint off the cat without getting more (paw) paint spread across the (wrecked) carpet. You can imagine the chaotic scene!